Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
