Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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