I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
