he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
someone owes me an orgasm
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize