Jerry, you need to find god
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
