u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize