i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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