well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
