In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
oh god the rape fog is back!
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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