Your mouth is God's brothel.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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