i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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