Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Your dad touched me again.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
