Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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