Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize