At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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