$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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