i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
