doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
