i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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