I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Even my vagina gasped.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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