yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
