haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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