best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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