Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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