so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
