You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
