I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
