Small penises have feelings too.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
