Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
