so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize