so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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