i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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