Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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