so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
