Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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