if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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