it was like his penis was on wheels.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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