she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
