I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I booty called her while she was in labor.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
