I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We need to get me chipped asap
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