so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
This is classic penis vs brain.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize