You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
