And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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