im so drunk with asians
where?
always
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
