You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
