i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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