Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We left the knife in your bed.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
