There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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