I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
