oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize