I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize