Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
