I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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