Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
