dude i'm inner monologue high
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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