I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
