my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
