it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
