shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
