So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
