I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
