Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
