we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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