It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
