So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
