do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
