Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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